Don't buy stock photography ...

I feel the need for a tiny rant about stock photography ...

Years ago, before the advent of the digital camera (or at least at the point where digital cameras were inaccessible to the vast majority of consumers) companies paid for talented, creative and imaginative photographers to create images to represent their businesses and products.  

These images were carefully set-up, photographed, developed/processed by the chosen photographer.  Even before the images were created, much planning occurred.  Location, lighting, timing, etc ... all long discussed and considered.

Photography had a value.  Being a photographer was a special and talented role, requiring patience and an eye for detail.

... I'm going to cut a VERY long story short (and as a result shorten my rant ...)

The advent of affordable digital cameras meant that every Tom, Dick & Harry could take a shot. Photo editing software made that worse.   Hence was born the idea that there was a market in 'stock photography'.  If you took enough pictures and made them available for a low enough cost, companies would rather buy your images in bulk than hire a photographer.  Put all those images in one place, and you could monopolize the graphic needs of large companies.

Who makes money?  The hosting companies of these directories.

Rarely a photographer with enough 'stock' in their account, might command a good price for their photographs.

Who loses?  The independent local photographer.  

I think photographers understand why stock photography is appealing.  I do ... and I have used stock photography for small projects for my school and for website projects for others too.   It's convenient, quick and yes ... inexpensive.

But it's sad when large, wealthy companies pay $1 for a photo that 'kinda' represents their product, rather than invest money in creating their own 'look & feel' that is unique and creative and very, very special.  

The balance tipped the wrong way ... in my humble opinion.

Can it be fixed?   Probably not ... 

Can you help?  Absolutely ... hire your local photographer

... that day

March 23 marks the day when the husband of my best friend died.  It also falls around Easter, which is the anniversary of both my beloved Grandfather's death ... and my Father-in-law.  

Why do these painful anniversary's seem to gather together?

Getting a canary

I had a large reef tank for some time, which I broke down and gradually sold over the last few weeks/months (just have the tank left to sell).  

But now I feel devoid of animals (would have a house full if I could ...) ...

A friend has lots of birds and started breeding canaries .. so I'm going to get one!  Have the cage and stuff all set up.  Can't wait to hear the lovely twittering sounds of 'Rhubard' (it's a pinky-red canary) ... maybe I should have called it Twitter after my new-found twittering passion!

Etsy

I must be entirely stupid ...

I had to look up what 'Etsy' meant on the internet ...

The "Happy Husband"

My husband is looking for a new job opportunity.  Over the last couple of weeks, he has increasingly withdrawn from his job and spent more time at home.

Interestingly, he has 'cheered up' ... is laughing out loud, fun to be with and ACTUALLY LOADED THE DISHWASHER ...

WOW

I mean ...

WOW

If we could just win the lottery, life would be perfect!

Walking to school

Yesterday my son walked to school by himself for the first time.

Proud .. is an understatement.  Actually, he was more proud than me (I was worried).  He IS 10 1/2 .. and we live on the same road as the school (about 500 yds away).

I did not let my 8 3/4 year old walk with him ... older has to have more priviledges, don't you think?

Ok ... OK ..

OK ... OK ... I haven't written in a few days ... it's been a tough week!

OK ... so I got the date wrong ...

Mother's Day in England is March 22nd ...

Mother's Day in Europe

For all you Brits and other Europeans ... Mother's Day is looming on March 20th.  (It's always a different day to the US Mother's Day.)  Have used the International division of ProFlowers for many years and they seem to do a good job.  

Watched a great movie ...

Highly recommend "The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas", which I watched on the return flight to the USA.  As described, it is at times very hard to watch, but I really couldn't take my eyes off it and was extremely moved by it.   It's not a long movie ... and not one for the children.    

A great trip

I had a very successful trip to the UK ... and surprised (without killing) my 90 year old grandmother at her birthday meal on Saturday.  

Attended my new niece's christening ... and am now her God Mother.  

Phew ... what a trip!

The kids were very pleased to see me ... and even admitted they were ready for a home-cooked meal because MacDonalds, Chuckie Cheese, etc, were getting old ....

While the cat is away ...

My husband managed admirably in my absence and I was so proud ... my little chicks are alive and well (and my son recovered from double pneumonia too!).

Only one small fly in the ointment (which had me chuckling for hours).  Apparently they missed the clocks going forward notice on Saturday night.  Continued to miss any sign of change throughout Sunday ... still unaware Monday morning ...

Kids were listed as tardy for school because they arrived an hour late - only realizing when the teacher asked why they were late and arriving in the middle of the first period!

My husband only noticed around 11am on Monday and had to look up the 'real' time on the internet!

TOO FUNNY!!

Back in the swing of things ...

Knowing that I have an 8.00am meeting this morning (having jetted in from the UK late last night) ... I am preparing this blog ahead of time.  Tales of my travels will soon be hitting the blog-waves ...

Great Grandma is 90 today!

Actually, she's my Grandma ... and it's her 90th birthday today.  Flying back to the USA this afternoon!

What do I bring back from the UK

Yesterday's post probably begs the question .. what do I bring home from the UK.  So here's the very odd list ...

1) Vegetable suet

2)     PROPER mint sauce

3)    Tea

4)    Curly Wurly bars (millions of them!)

5)     Cadbury's dairy milk

6)     Custard powder

7)     Knitting wool & patterns

What did I take home to the UK?

Oh ... I know you are wondering !!   But after 13 years of living in the United States it might surprise you what I take home.  Here's some of the highlights ...

1) Cake mix - particularly chocolate cake

2)     Cake decorations (sprinkles)

3)    Vanilla paste from Williams Sonoma

4)     Hand made almond soap from Whole Foods

5)     Gluten free cookies (for Great Grandma) also from Whole Foods

6)     LL Bean beanie hat with built in LED lights!

7)      Duty free Vodka

8)     Towels

9)     Baby clothes

10)    Wooden knitting needles

Surprising Great Grandma

As you are reading this I am making my way to my sister's house in England (near London).  We have planned and plotted to surprise my Grandmother (who turns 90 on March 9).  

She is having a family meal in nearby Marlow (6th) and attending my new niece's christening (7th).  I am a proud God-Mother too ... so 2 birds, 1 stone.

Will blog about my trip when I get back!!  

Let's hope my husband is coping with the 2 kids ...

Have I actually packed yet?

Who knows ... !

But if you're reading this, it's very likely that I have NOT ...

Utter despair ..

OK ... so now I am in a state of utter despair and am beside myself with worry.  My 10 year old is still very unwell, although the fever seems to have gone.  

My husband will be an excellent care-giver while I'm away, and will be overly attentive to him ... that's not the issue.  The issue is that as a control-freek, I have not attended to even 10% of the things I should have done at this point in my journey preparations ... and it's killing me!

How on earth can I hang an exhibit of my work this morning with a child who won't/can't get out of bed?  

2 days to go ...

I am supposed to go away for a few days on Thursday.  Why is it that this week (and only this week in the last few years) BOTH kids are sick.  I think my 10 year old may have the flu ...

Sick kid

I hate when the kids get sick ... particularly my daughter who seems to suffer with sore throats because she has 'reticulated tonsils' ... like I did when I was a child.

So the last couple of weeks she has been suffering on and off with a sore throat and generally feeling under the weather.  Yesterday she took herself to bed (fully clothed) and I didn't have the heart to wake her and change her into PJs.  Likewise, she was not feeling well this morning ... so I left her in the same clothes. 

This evening I started the bath and we had a nice bonding experience bathing, washing and drying hair.  Only when we removed the clothes did we notice the rash ...  hopefully it's just a viral rash ... but scarlet fever comes to mind (been there, done that with my older child).  

Should I say again that I hate it when the children are poorly?

Learning how to iron (again)

I have to re-learn ironing !

For the last 6 weeks, my visiting mother-in-law has attended to all my ironing and folding needs.  I just know it will never occur to me to iron until everyone's run out of tea clothes, underpants (yes, I iron them) and shirts ...

Parker's Maple Barn

Looking for a great place for lunch?

Try Parker's Maple Barn in Mason, New Hampshire.  In about 2 weeks they will begin making maple syrup, and you can do an interesting tour of the series of sheds in which they make it!  The gift shop is full of surprises (and of course maple syrup!)

Go early, they don't take reservations.  You put your name down, and at the peak of the maple syrup making season, you can expect to wait 60-90  minutes for lunch.  BUT they have the best pancakes in the world and food is extremely reasonably priced.  

A favorite with many of our guests from England.  

Also .. one last tip ... 8 miles away is Pickety Place ... the inspiration for the illustrator of Little Red Riding Hood.  In the summer they have an amazing traditional English herb garden and sell all kinds of home grown herbs in their very interesting shop (where you can buy all kinds of things!).  They also have an amazing restaurant .. but it's more adult friendly, than kid friendly and uses local produce and seasonal veggies, etc.

Twittering

I have recently discovered Twitter, which seems to be a much faster way to network with others.  A kind of an informal Linkedin - and actually quite entertaining.

I admit to a little flash of pride when someone 'follows' me ... I AM special after all!

Follow me ... http://twitter.com/suebruce

... and still it goes on

I thought I was done with the Friday 13th effect ... but apparently NO!

This morning I woke up to an email from a friend (call me, it's an emergency) ... and it wasn't.  AND THEN I discovered my car was dead (flat battery).  Had to call my wonderful husband home from the office to jump start it.

What have I done to deserve this?  

February 24 - the new Friday 13th!

OK ... so I missed one post yesterday.  But I was recovering from February 24th ... the new Friday 13th!

All started out well, but soon descended into the worse day in my memory.   I backed into my cleaners car - caused a minor scratch & small dent on her car, and completely totaled my bumper !! ??  Initial estimate - $1000 minimum.  I was not even accellerating, just rolling backwards out of the garage, and UP A HILL.  Apparently it was the angle of the impact, not the velocity!?

THEN ... the school nurse calls to say my daughter was sick (she was just testing out the new school nurse!)

THEN ... the exterminator / trapper revealed that the rattling in the attic was a flying squirrel - so now I feel guilty for trying to kill it ... but at the same time, I am going crazy from sleep deprivation between 1 and 5 am ...

THEN ... a mystery person spilt water on my Mac wireless keyboard, resulting in the keys 'zero', 'p' and ';' not working.

THEN ... the computer crashed and rebooted itself and required me to enter my password ... which includes one of the letters the keyboard could not enter ... so I was rendered without a computer until I could make it to the local Apple store (24 hours later).

I could cry even recalling this stuff ...!

OK to ask?

My oldest child recently met a new friend at an art camp.  He asked if I could arrange a play date at the other kids house.  I felt a little nervous ...

I have no idea who these people are, where they live, if they are even reliable and somewhat 'normal'.

So I called them ... and told them this AND asked them if they had a gun.  They were really happy to tell me a few things about themselves, and invited me to stay for the first 20 minutes of the play date to become better acquainted.  

... and no, they didn't have a gun ... and thought it was perfectly acceptable for me to ask!

Sting Ray Bow-Rider

This weekend we went to the New England Boat Show.  I've never been to a Boat Show before and wasn't sure what to expect ... but it was actually very interesting and the kids had a blast climbing on board small and large boats/yachts.  Amazing what kind of technology and built-in comforts they have these days.

OK ... so now I REALLY want a boat!!   A nice little 18ft Sting Ray bow-rider will do!!

Tips for next time ...

1) Don't wear high heels to boat show

2) Bring water

3) Arrive at correct door of exhibition center to avoid 3 mile walk

Painting Mom

I am a painting Mom right now.  I have been painting up a storm these last few weeks, and have successfully painted over a mural I started (and did not want to finish) ... and the room looks great.  This, of course, begs the question - why did I wait a year, looking at the half finished mural every day?  Who knows!  But I'm so pleased I did it!

With this new found energy and enthusiasm for painting, I have also almost completed repainting my daughter's room.  (Reaching over shoulder to pat own back ...)

My (lack of) new office

I really want to find somewhere in my town to base my business.  

Product photography is really becoming my speciality and I could use a proper 'business base'.  You'd think that with the economy the way it is, there'd be some building owner who would want to lease a small unfurnished (even windowless) space to a quiet, unimposing person like myself.  But NO ... apparently everyone is holding out for those big-time rents and it's SO FRUSTRATING!

(OK .. perhaps I am not quiet OR unimposing ...)

Odd glasses

To follow up from yesterday's Champagne post, I realize that I have a collection of individual wine/champagne glasses - ie.  they don't match - and I LOVE that.

There is something very appealing about reaching into the wine glass cupboard and deciding if I'm going to have the spotty glass, pink glass, engraved glass, dark red glass or stem-less glass tonight.

Is Cristal worth it?

I really want to try that Cristal champagne.  I am not sure if I'm attracted by the name, price of aura ... but as an enthusiastic champagne drinker I am wondering if it's really that good!

Right now my favorites are:

Verve Clicquot (orange label)

French Mumm

Schramsberg (the White House Champagne)

What's your favorite?

Someone PLEASE teach me Photoshop !!

I have spent several days pouring over a Photoshop CS3 book TRYING to manipulate photos and backgrounds.   

WHY ... do I understand it in the book, and then cannot replicate it on the computer!!

HELP  !!!  I am going to scream with utter frustration.

Why can't I get layers to work ... ?   

Confessions of a photographer

OK ... so I am really trying to network and build my photography business.  

A few days ago I received an email asking for a quotation for 'naked' black & white shots.  I didn't want to baulk at it because there is such a thing as 'artistic' nudity (with all those bits covered tactfully)! 

So rather than discard it, I replied asking for more information - what does he do for a living, does he have examples of shots he is using in his portfolio right now ... etc, etc ...

... and he replies, with subtly discriptive information ... AND a picture ....

Oh why didn't I see this coming ...

Arguing 10 year old

Do all 10 year old boys argue?   Please someone tell me they have had the same experience.

My son would argue that black is white, that the world is flat and that there is no such thing as a one dollar bill !!

If we ask him to do something, he argues ... if we set out to go somewhere, he argues ... if we choose our own channel on the TV ... HE ARGUES.

It's driving us crazy !!

Gummy vitamins for adults!

I know I should take a multi-vitamin.  I do really well taking them for a few days ... but then forget completely.  I've tried keeping them next to the coffee machine ... but hate taking them with hot coffee because it makes them dissolve and they taste foul.  I've tried putting them next to my toothbrush ... but never have water handy and cannot swallow them without a drink.  I've even tried putting them in my pocket to consume in the car (which I inevitably spend time in every day) ... but then I can't get them out of my pocket while driving.  (They then go through the laundry machine leaving a powdery mess at the bottom of the pocket!)

Finally I noticed that Costco now have DECENT Gummy Vitamins for grown-ups ... they are delicious!! They actually taste good and don't have that sour chalky taste like others I have tried.  So now I am happily remembering to take them - even looking forward to it ... without the need for a drink, or fear of the bad taste!!

My very talented self

I am very pleased with myself.   In the past two weeks, I have PROPERLY painted over a partly finished mural (that I did).  It needed to go ... and so I researched primer, sanded walls (by hand) and dutifully applied 3 coats to walls, stairway and ceiling (yes it was a fair size room with mural on every surface and down the stairs).  Even removed outlet surrounds (WOW I hear you say).  Have chosen new paint color and applied two very even coats ... even re-glossed the kick boards, door frames and windows.  

I am good ... 

now ... what else can I paint now that I am in the mood  (should I mention that Judge Alex is really very good background entertainment for painting ...?)

Friday 13th?

I have just read that whenever a 'Friday 13th' occurs, fewer people drive to work ... yet car accidents exceed the average for any other day of the year!?

I'm starting to wonder what impact it will have on my crazy routine today.  

Polishing up a storm

Until the age of 30 ish (I intended to say exact age, but chickened out ...) I had bitten my nails horribly.  I don't just mean a 'nibble' ... I mean right down and beyond!  A nervous habit, I'm told.

Eventually, starting several years ago I began to kick the habit with the help of an excellent manicurist in Saratoga, CA.  She looked at my stubby fingers and was not phased.  I explained that I needed help and wanted to have beautiful hands/nail .. and she was still not phased.

It turns out that she was right (although I relapsed several times).  A simple manicure makes your hands feel good and look good - but only if the manicurist has the ability to not care about this difficult habit.  If she can treat you like every other client, it will work.

So now, having long yearned for nails long enough to polish, I am addicted entirely to nail varnish!!  Although I experience the occasional relapse (about once in 18 months), I keep this habit at bay by applying nail polish ... which I adore as long as it's not chipped, which stopped me from chewing.  

I think I have about 30 bottles of nail polish (I love OPI !!)  

Where is my Fairy God Mother?

Where is the camera Fairy God Mother now?  

I REALLY want the new Canon 5d mk II (the Mk II being the IMPORTANT BIT) !!  If you are out there, this is REALLY high on my list for acquisitions and might even transcend into the category of 'necessities'.  

.... if the 'Lens' Fairy God Mother is out there  - she/he should call me RIGHT AWAY ...  I have a wish list ....

A tip for the boys

Valentine's Day is coming up.  How can we not be aware of that?

Before every special occasion, my children are mysteriously abducted to the mall by my husband.  LIKE I DON'T GET WHAT'S GOING ON !!!  

What ever happened to a bouquet arriving unexpected ... a Pajama-Gram thingy ... a chef in your home (so I don't have to cook dinner) ... or a surprise reservation and babysitter ??

Time and effort invested well before a special date is worth FAR more than anything bought in haste!!

Follow me

OK ... now I am really getting obsessed.

I look everyday to see if I have a follower ...   NONE  !!   I know you're reading it, some of you even come back ... but no followers?

Am I that bad?!

Actually, I'm enjoying writing so much it's become a kind of therapy!!  Hope you enjoy reading my blog!!

Phone-y

I recently discovered that a house-guest did not pick up my telephone call because they couldn't find the 'on' switch on our home phone.

... this was immediately explained by identifying the 'phone' as the 'TV Clicker'.

Daily Grommet

I take photographs for a local company (to Lexington, MA) called The Daily Grommet.  

Every weekday at around noon a new 'Grommet' posts ... and I am starting to look forward to watching the video and reading the commentary.  Clearly others are doing the same as the comments are growing and growing for each product.

... I've even bought a few things

Check it out at www.dailygrommet.com.  

Disembarking dinner

This past week my oldest threw up in the night.  Well, not initially 'in' the night ... but predictably at my bedtime (ie. after I've fallen asleep on the chair for 30 minutes and managed to drag my butt upstairs!).

I hate it when they throw up.  Actually, I hate it when I throw up.  Fortunately neither happens very often.  There seems to be little you can do to take away their anxiety and uncomfortableness.  Inevitably bed clothes need to be laundered .. and in the worst cases, PJs too.  Which brings me to my big dilemma ...

When your child throws up on themselves, how do you get the PJ top off without smearing the now 'out' vomit all over their face and head.  Yuck !!   

(I can't believe I've just written this post ... it's vile!!)

Still resolving?

How are your New Year's Resolutions doing?

I am so proud of myself ... the fairy cake resolution is still alive and I have graduated to flapjacks recently.  I'm enjoying it actually!!  (my waistline isn't ...)

PJ Mail

Last night I found a letter in my PJs.  

It was from my daughter.

We have recently had a 'heart-to-heart' ... an attempt to reset the scales (which were very out of sync).  

The letter is beautifully written, and is so honest and genuine that I am unable to go to sleep - hence this blog post.  

At last I feel like I am reconnecting with my daughter, and I truly pray this will last.  

Should I mention that she is 8?

The dinner blues

I am not really a convenience food Mum, although I admit that the kids have pre-made chicken nuggets and the occasional pizza when we're in a hurry.  These they greedily yum-up without complaint.  Once in a while a MacDonald's meal-on-the-run will sneak it ... same result.

Most evenings, however, I cook something from scratch.  Something tasty (I think), colorful (I think) and simple enough that they can identify the ingredients - which I think is important for kids.

Our usual routine goes something like:

Monday:

"What's for dinner, Mum?"

(I tell them ...)

"I don't like that and I'm not going to eat it"

Tuesday:

"What's for dinner, Mum?"

(I tell them ...)

"I don't like that and ...

You get the idea ...

Of course, they always have to eat it ... but how come we do this EVERY day?  Is it a habit?  Do they think it's funny?  

Murphy's law

I have a gas oven and cooktop.  I use mostly the front 3 rings to cook on.  They have an auto-light feature ... ie.  I turn the button and it clicks to light the gas.

Lately, it is having trouble lighting and clicks, and clicks ... and clicks.  Eventually I decide to walk to the other side of the kitchen for a manual lighter.  Sometimes I do it immediately, other times I wait.  

EVERY time I get to the drawer with the manual lighter, it lights automatically.  Yes ... even when I wait longer to see if it is eventually going to light (before the house blows up ...)

Sock box

A few months ago I introduced the sock box to my household.  At last a home for that single sock that appears in the laundry almost daily.  The sock box lives in the laundry room on top of the dryer.

I even cleared out all the kids drawers (and mine ... my husband apparently has no odd socks because he is perfect) looking for the odd socks, and promised never to put socks in their rooms unless they are paired.

So here we are, several months later ... and despite clearing out the box regularly ... it is still overflowing!  Huh?  

Murphy's Law states that as soon as I dump the orphan socks, I'll find the other, right?

My endless grocery list

I keep myself organized by maintaining a running To-Do list of errands, shopping, etc.  Without it I am lost, and as you'll know from a previous post, I am obsessive about keeping it tidy!  The bottom right corner is always given over to supermarket needs, and I cut it out and take it with me to the store to make sure I don't forget anything.

No matter how meticulously I list the groceries I need, I always come back with a ton of stuff.  I have heard friends say the same thing - if there are 10 things on the list, you come back with 12 (or more!).

So ... is it me who consistently forgets what I've run out of ... or the store that sends psychological messages to my brain making me buy stuff?   Hmmmm 

Translation issues

I have been living in the USA for 14 years and am now an American citizen.  I still have to chuckle at the trouble I got myself into with a few simple words!  (some are still troublesome)

To summarize, I have learned ...  

1.  'Homely' is not a compliment (it is in England)

2.  There is no such word as 'winge-ing'

3.  NEVER give fruit cake to ANYONE

4.  The 2-finger salute doesn't exist

What I still need help with (volunteers please?)

1.  Is it 'trash' or 'garbage'

2.  Am I driving on the 'highway' or 'freeway'

3.  Why would you name anything 'Cheese Nips'

... and as for the time in the hospital elevator when my son (then 2) pushed the emergency button and the receptionist told us 'don't worry, a lady pushed the button with her fanny last week ... it happens all the time'.   WOW!    That is REALLY clever (fellow Brits will understand!!)

Ghosts are ringing my wind chimes

I recently had an awful sleepless night, awaking at 12.15am to wind chimes.  Wind chimes?  I don't even have any - part of the reason I could not go back to sleep.  I tried to get the sound our of my head, but found myself concentrating even harder to see if I could hear it (which is REALLY annoying!).  

By 1.00am I had to go and look for the chimes ... but they stopped as soon as I got out of bed ... so back to bed.

By 1.45am, I am down in the kitchen looking for them ... still can't find them ... back to bed again.

By 2.00am I have persuaded myself that my daughter has been kidnapped through her bedroom window and the kidnappers have bumped into her wind chime project next to her bed.  So I barrel down the hall ... she is (of course) asleep in bed ... and she's removed the wind chimes anyway.

Figured it out by 3.00am by sitting motionless on the floor in the hallway for 10 minutes.  Stupid hamster ... jumping on and off it's wheel.  Bing ... Bing ... Bing   (should be bang bang bang ... but I haven't got a gun)

Free to a good home

Free to a good home or will swap for good bottle of Chateaux Neuf de Pape.  

Female child, loves to sing and dance (very quietly ALWAYS).  Never yells or says bad words EVER  (ie. only vague awareness of swear words ... but nothing beyond the S-word, F-word, C-word, B-word ...) Eats every scrap of food on her plate (even black crumbly stuff that Mummy has forgotten to remove from the pan).  Has absolutely NO powers of manipulation.  Exceptional aim when throwing objects ...

Favoritism

I recently relocated my computer within the kitchen so I can sit with my legs actually under the table (apparently I have twisted my lower back by sitting sideways and facing forwards!).   

Once my former 'perch' was vacated, my daughter decided to move in and brought a host of 'desk appropriate' items from her bedroom.  A table mat for the writing area, a left over school name tag, pencil pot, soft toys (including the sleeping puppy that breathes and looks scarily real) ... and a picture frame.  

In the picture frame is a photograph of her.

Trying to help, I explained that most people place on their work desks photographs of their favorite friends and family.  She said she knew this, and that since WAS her own favorite person !!?

Hot chicks

While driving to collect my kids from school, I decided to switch on the heated seats - both for me and my mother-in-law, who is visiting from Liverpool, England.  The weather in England is rarely as cold as these raw New England winter days, and I am very concerned to make sure she stays warm and toasty.

It never occurred to me that she would not have experienced a heated seat, or known that it existed!

As we wait in the pick-up line, she suddenly starts laughing.  Just a giggle at first ... but it soon transitions into uncontrollable laughter and tears well up in her eyes.  She cannot stop laughing and can't even talk!

Eventually it emerges that for the previous 5 minutes she had sat in absolute horror as her 'buns' got hotter and hotter.  Struck dumb by the fear that a terrible illness had suddenly affected her ... and her vacation would be spent in a hospital ward with a 'hot bot' !!  She then realized it was a heated seat ...

No, I'm not smarter than a 5th grader ...

Never mind am I smarter than a 5th grader (or what ever it's called) ... I can't even do the 4th grade math that my son brought home.  I had to look up how to do 'long division' on the internet and re-learn it!  

... and then there were the two years (2007 and 2008)  when I thought that 'cursive' was a style of writing - ie.  3rd person, particularly descriptive, etc.  Only last year did I discover it's just joined up writing!  

Don't ever let anyone tell you English English and American English are the same!!

Confessions of a card-a-holic

Hi, my name is Sue and I am addicted to cards (well, and a few other things that I'm not even going to mention because my Mom might be watching/reading).

If I see one funny birthday card, I cannot resist looking for more - and then I find more, which makes me look for more ....

A few days ago I was surprised to discover that the Super Stop & Shop actually had genuinely funny ones (usually it doesn't)!  I bought 12 cards - which is entirely stupid because I only know about 3 people!!

My favorites are ... "Any pan is a no-stick pan if you no cook in it" ... "you ain't old till you got summer teeth ...you know - some 'er missin', some 'er still there ...".

Telling off the big boys

My 10 year old son is almost as big as me. 

He recently observed that when he is taller than me, I will no longer be convincing or even scary when admonishing him for some behavior or poor decision.

To illustrate this, he took out the folding steps and stood on the top step ... and instantly became 6 ft 5 in tall (his projected height).  He then had me 'tell him off', while he smiled down at me.  

It was pathetic (me, not him).

There is officially NO HOPE ...

Better than me

I must officially be getting old ... 

I am judging this simply on the realization that my kids are starting to be able to do things better than me.  This is not a recent revelation, but rather a kind of 'unveiling' that seems to have started a few months back.

My daughter, who has been taking riding lessons for 2 years, is now pretty good at it.  I realized this past weekend that if something went wrong (spooked horse, etc) it's all down to her!  My parental instinct to run head-long into the arena if she is catapulted from the saddle, is simply useless.  It's not like I can catch the horse, shout out useful instructions or catch her in mid air.  I am officially the band-aid that deals with the aftermath!

Yes ... it's a real wand ...

I admit I love Harry Potter ... as do my children (especially my daughter).  The magical and mystical quality of the films (and books) leave children with a vague sense that there's an element of truth somewhere hidden in the stories.

I used to tell the kids that I went to Hogwarts, and if they were naughty, I'd get out my wand and cast a spell.  This eventually resulted in the question "show us the wand" ...  

So one night while they were asleep, I wrapped a chop stick in aluminum foil and placed it on top of the cooktop hood.  The next and subsequent times they asked, I immediately produced it ... and this kept them fascinated for many months.  

Interestingly, they never attempted to retrieve the wand for a closer look!   In the end, I confessed and unwrapped it ... I just wanted to see their faces (which were hilarious!)

Hamster on the phone

Children are smart.  They have the uncanny ability to pick the absolute worst time to pitch a fit, spill a gallon of OJ or fall off something.  A kind of telepathy, perhaps?  Or do they just wait for you to be on the phone before they start the inevitable chain reaction that ends in doom (for them or you ...)

So while I'm on the phone to a rare potential client ... sounding all professional and business-like (ie. there are no children for MILES around)  ... my daughter appears, hamster in hand stating (several times) "take a photo of my hamster" in an increasingly loud voice.  

If you discover your child's off switch ... can you let me know?

Arrival of the ironing fairy

Yes, there is indeed an ironing fairy ... and she is arriving today on a plane from Liverpool!  

Hurrah!  

My obsession with ironing everything (even underpants, tea clothes and sheets!) can continue and I'll have time to work on my other obsessions, like making sure the toilet paper rolls away from the wall ALWAYS, making sure all the towels are folded EXACTLY the same way and that my to-do list is written in the same color ink and NO-ONE else writes ANYTHING on the piece of paper (or I have to write it all out again on a new sheet).

The cupcake resolution

Growing up I remember there was always a home-made cake (sometimes cup cakes with pale icing and a few sprinkles) on the counter.  A piece of cake with a cup of tea after dinner was standard practice ... even from a young age.  

Last year, I came to the conclusion that I had partly 'lost my way'.  All of my spare time (and not spare time!) was spent volunteering at school and with other good causes.  I'm not suggesting that we should not give time ... but I had made volunteering a full time job, investing over 30 hours a week ... and I came to realize that I should re-prioritize.

Hence the cupcake resolution ...

I have resolved that the once empty glass cake stand should no longer remain empty, but instead should house a home-baked delight ... hopefully to be greedily consumed and enjoyed by the family.  

So far, so good ... it's chocolate frosted cup cakes today!  

The magical room

Recently I sat in a room with a dozen or more other parents (mostly Moms, but a few Dads) to start a community wide discussion on a very touchy and emotional subject.  The subject is irrelevant ... 

What is amazing is that each individual set aside their personal opinions, challenges and commitments to understand a greater problem that affects everyone.  There was no malice in the room, no sarcasm, no 'them and us' ... just a determination to work towards a solution, together. 

Each person (some more than others) has challenges that weigh heavy on their shoulders.  For some, these challenges carve out a day that for others would see them running to the edges of the earth.  But still everyone came, without complaint on a frigid morning with temperatures near zero ... and I think we all left that room warmed by the spirit created within.

Building up an immunity ... to the cold!

If you've seen the national weather forecast recently, you would have heard that it's been bitterly cold in New England this week.  

Absolutely unbelievable is the sight of my son, leaving the school building, with his winter coat slung across his shoulder ... and only a sweatshirt to keep warm.   The parents (myself included) waiting for our children are reminiscent of multi-color penguins ... standing stationary head into the wind, with eye lashes frozen to faces.  But the kids appear oblivious and simply do not feel the cold!  Amazing!

Worse than head lice?

Do you have a day you'll never forget?  I remember this day almost above all others ...

One morning (a few years ago) my daughter was combing her hair and vigorously started scratching.  Taking advantage of the bright morning sunshine, I took the opportunity to look ... and there was a huge louse right in the middle of her head.

Mortified, horrified and with phantom lice in my own hair we set out for the supermarket to buy any and all stock of any lice removal product/device.  On our return (and bearing enough chemicals to kill the insect population for miles around) we were greeted by a noxious smell, which we traced to the cellar where we now had our own pool ... of poo ... from the sewer.

How do you prioritize that?  

Letting loose ...

Why is it impossible to get two children out the door 15 minutes early for a meeting at their school?  It's almost fatal to mention an early start!  Have you ever noticed that only on these mornings does the sugar get spilled, the toilet not flush and the homework go missing!?

I could write a book and document all of these ridiculously ironic happenings that blight my/our stressful mornings, rushed afternoons and sleepless nights?  It would be a great read, filled with sarcastic comparisons, horrible coincidences and hilarious admissions ... and then I discovered blogging ...

Without further a do ... I am letting loose my (probably infrequent) rants for the entertainment and general consumption of all Moms (and anyone else).  We are all tasked with juggling children, culinary skills, domestic know-how and professional expertise ... whilst appearing calm and collected, in matching clothes (turned the right side out most of the time) with immaculate make-up (applied in the rear-view mirror) the majority of the time.

Feel free to celebrate and commiserate with me ... and above all ... enjoy!